So Long And Goodnight
by TwistedInABottle
Summary: Sakura leaves because she doesn't know who'll be her biggest regret if she stays. TeamSeven. NaruSaku. Spoilers up to 471.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I've retouched this chapter up a bit, curing grammar and spelling mistakes and whatnot like you guys advised in your reveiws. Thanks ever so much! I have to say it's much better now, so read at your leisure. And leaving a reveiw is always apreciated.

_Title:So Long And Goodnight  
Author: TwistedInABottle  
Genre:Angst, Drama, Romance...  
Characters: NaruSaku, Team Seven  
Rating: M  
Summary: Sakura leaves because she doesn't know who'll be her biggest regret if she stays._

* * *

Sasuke-kun left today. Or, maybe, yesterday; she can't be sure.

Point is, he left and he's _never_ coming _back_. Dunno, something about the way he looked at Sound _Sound? Yeah, I remember…_ so aloof and solitary on the crag, maybe the feel of the air shifting when he materializes in front of Naruto, hand resting on her teammate's shoulder the other hand casual on the hilt of his kusunagi. Maybe it was shouting out at them, feeling so outside the Circle, too far away to help, too close to be anything but useless and Sai _Kami, bastard fake-smiling __**Sai**_pushing them back, stepping in, pushing them apart, stepping between, pushing them back and Sakura a thousand miles out of the way. Fragmenting. Stranded.

"I'm going to bring back Sasuke-kun using my own power!" clench of a gloved fist, knuckles crackling green and blue with chakra, running, running, _running._ The passage of a blade is deft, fast, singing but it thuds into Yamato-taichou and Sakura is too speechless at the darkness, the _indifference_ in Sasuke(-kun)'s eyes to be offended until much later when it's too late to matter.

But before that, she's already accepted, be it forest of Death, Chuunin exams or ripping out the heart of an Akatsuki bastard; Sasuke is _not_ coming back, and whatever brave, terrific deed she will display as a ninja will never be accompanied by the flaming brilliance of a chidori/rasengan. No, Sakura has accepted that maybe she'll always _be_ ordinary.

Those who've seen any shred of extraordinary from her are either dead or lost. No one will ever see it because they are either unconscious or absent or too occupied with killing(finding) their brother(rival)kin-killer(friend) to bother whether she can break apart mountains with a fist or not.

And no emergency haircuts, whiskered grins, or _Sakura, thankyou's_ will change that.

* * *

One failed mission later, all she can think about isn't how Naruto could've done something, something more magnificent like she'd been counting on, isn't how Sai understands bonds but should keep the hell away from them (because,kami, they _hurt_), isn't the distance and arrogance in Sasuke's eyes when he adressed her for the first time in three years, nor Yamata-taichou's damn involvement in the fact that he was _not Kakashi_, and Kakashi-sensei should have been there, Kakashi could've done something because when Naruto used to talk ,the old-Sasuke would tilt his head, the words would penetrate and kami, when Kakashi talked Sasuke _listened_ and all indifference is referred to the annoying girl who's useless, who's not pretty enough to be a damsel in distress but takes the position anyway because Haruno Sakura will never make the cut and _be_ something else.

No, Sakura can think only one thing:

_One hit, one punch, _just one_ and maybe _I _could be the one to do it._

Because Sakura can. Sakura can do it. She is kunoichi.

Next time Yamato gets in the way, she'll smash his face _along_ with Sasuke's and _damn him_ for trying to take away her chance.

Shannaro.

* * *

Sometimes she watches Naruto. Watches the way he grins, cocks his head to look at her in a way that ruffles the tips of his sun gold head. At those times she can't help but be fixated on his eyes, eyes so blue and bright that she thinks of him as some irrepressible wild streak of sky and then he says _"Sakura-chan!"_ and she sees that Cheshire grin that she hates sometimes because she's never seen an expression so real yet so _concealing_, so wickedly _beautiful_ on a face whose jaw has lost its boyishness, refined itself into a man's jaw, so that even his cheekbones (not sharp and pretty like Sasuke's) but bold and strong and (not Sasuke's) _different_ it's a mortal wound.

Naruto's changed in these three years, she had recalled these changes wistfully, in reality she had been a little bit...terrified. At the start. It had _scared_ her at the start because if Naruto could change...why not Sasuke? What would Sasuke-kun sound like if they met him after three years, would he have become stronger in his heart like Naruto had or worse, lost himself completely? Sasuke's change worried her the most because while Naruto was a catalyst for change, Naruto _changed_ people (slowly she was changing, when he looked at her too long, longer than he was supposed to, she...let him. When he was being outrageously stupid she whacked him upside the head, less harder than she should have. She checked him for wounds, still did even when she knew the kyuubi would heal him... she still insisted. She cut him apples. Kami, that must _mean _something.) He changed people with his dominating will, his pure blazing _determination_ – but Sasuke-kun...

Sasuke-kun was just driftwood, letting the waves in a sea of change and feelings do whatever they would, letting Itachi destroy his childhood, letting himself become warped with hate and darkness and curse seals and jealousy and rivals and Snake-Sannins.

Because Naruto -

_I'm gonna be Hokage one day!/ Uzumaki Naruto, remember my name and dontch'a forget it! / I never go back on my word, that's my ninja way! / I understand...you're pain, I'll bring Sasuke back, it's the promise of a life time! / Dattebayo!_

- Naruto _bends._

And Sasuke -

_You're annoying / I don't want any one precious to me to get hurt / I spared you on a whim of mine.../ Sakura, who the hell did that to you/...and on a whim of mine I will kill you./ I need to get stronger/ Weak, I'm still weak.../ Dobe/ Dead last/ You'll never surpass me, I'm better than you/ Not enough hate...not enough hate._

Sasuke just **breaks.**

* * *

She remembers standing in her pajamas, twelve years old, staring hard at the reflection, trying to decipher some meaning out of the girl with the too wide forehead, pale skin, outrageous hair. For once not wondering when her figure will pronounce itself, how she can fill out more to be as bobacious as Kurenai-sensei so that maybe Sasuke-kun will _(maybe? please?)_ look at her.

Actually, she's not thinking about Sasuke-kun at all. She's frowning, thoughtful or even a little bit...afraid? Because Naruto's stupid and annoying and she's been sure that Sasuke would love her (or at least feel something other than annoyed tolerance) if that obnoxious rude perverted blonde fool wasn't always getting in the way. She's been sure…

It's the same day Sasuke-kun's just admitted he hadn't been the one to save her and she sort of…just found herself... smiling_._ _(now, why'd ya go and do that, Sakura?)_. She smiled, warmth rising from her bones, that tender spot in her heart that had been softening and softening and eroding away the hardness and intolerance she felt for Naruto against her will, grew still softer. He had wormed his way there, perhaps, he's grown on her, against her will, ever since he stabbed himself on that first mission, Naruto's been surprising her, his determination to complete the tenth question, to put his life on the line for his team,_ for her_, the retarded way he squints when he's confused, that wide bright grin he throws in everyone's way, the way he pouts and sulks like a surly three year old and will never grow up.

And somehow she's not so sure anymore, she's not sure whether Sasuke's cutting remarks are something she'd rather have instead of Naruto's flattery, the warmth in his blue eyes, his blatant adoration or how he says her name...

_Sakura-chan._

She doesn't know anymore.

Sakura steels herself, pretends that even with night pressing on her window it will not taddletale her sin to Sasuke-kun, her small betrayal, her traitorous lapse. She plants her hands on her hips, bites her lip, once, twice, shakes her head, sighs, stares.

Enunciates;

"Naruto-kun."

She covers her gasp with both hands, face flushing with shame, guilt, _(exhilaration?)_ and (how could she betray Sasuke-kun, how could she even entertain such thoughts about Naruto) something else that she pushes away before she can come to fully realize it completely, leaps underneath the covers to escape it, this thought, this _seed_ Naruto's image has planted in her head (her heart) and damns herself with silence and night, irrepressible, accusing night that presses on her window, painting doubts in her heart.

* * *

Today Sakura is older, she is fifteen, gloves on calloused hands, recalling Naras who light smokes, chuckle at holes in the ground several feet deep somewhere in the clan forests, Naras that inhale so that the end of the cigarette goes orange-ember, talking about Kings and Pawns and shougi peices….

**Burning himself from the inside out. **

Recalling a boy's ashen face, controted in disbeleif, in pain, in a sadness that screams without words and twists her heart about how _Fukusaku is a liar and Ero-Sannin shouldn't have been out there by himself, why did you let him out there by himself, why did you send him when you knew...Ts-Tsunade baa-chan you hag, you're Hokage, you're fucking Hokage, you're supposed to have - Ero-Sannin...Ero-Sannin, you're a Liar baa-chan! Ero-Sannin can't be..._

_Naruto! _

But he has run out of the room and she can't go after him because...because of the way shishou flinches, eyes shut tight, and Sakura bites her lip, torn between her duty towards shishou and her duty towards her teammate.

Shishou's fingers tremble on the Sake bottle, when it topples out of her hand, splinters on the floor, she stares at the porcelain pieces unseeingly and shoves herself away from the goddamn Hokage table _(fucking table, stupid First, Second, Third, fucking Fourth...I shouldn't be here, you should've been Fifth you stupid dead lecher, why couldn't you have been Fifth? Why couldn't you have left me alone?)_, past an indignant Shikamaru who holds in his hand a photo of a code, out of the room to meet the Ghosts that no amount of Sake can exorcise.

"Hey, you can't just expect me to – "

"Shikamaru." her hand is on the dark soft material of his sleeve, green eyes mute, almost grey and does for shishou what she couldn't/didn't do for Naruto. "Please. Leave her alone."

She goes to see if Naruto is alright later, finds Iruka and Shikamaru beat her to it, kicks herself, regrets, smiles. Walks away.

Maybe, she's not quite sure, but...this is the best way. She's not ready yet to admit to the both of them that he shakes her in more ways than Sasuke ever could.

* * *

She's been depending on him too much. Naruto this, Naruto that, Naruto will you bring Sasuke-kun back?

All the time, it's always been this way, no matter how strong she becomes she'll always be looking across to him, waiting for Naruto to _do_ something, to show that he's _there._

But Naruto's not here, and kami, everything is falling down about their ears and Tsunade-shishou is on the roof and there are monsters tearing down the walls and oh kami oh kami WHERE ARE YOU NARUTO?!

...

Everything is alright now, Naruto came back, Naruto saved us, Naruto is here, and can't you see him? There, with Kakashi-sensei and there are villagers running towards him, hugging him, dragging him under with their relief, their gratitude for this boy they used to call monster. Naruto, after all this time...you still change people.

The air won't come into her lungs, she's walking, not really walking, it's more of a daze of heavy steps and drifting thoughts and he's there and she's there and she hits him. Hard. "Baka!" You stupid, _stupid_ boy, stupid for being so beautiful, stupid for being so good and _right_ and good and strong and _right_. Stupid for twisting my heart up with your risks, stupid for making me _feel…_

She draws him close, breathes him in, hand trembling at his nape with fear, relief, _exhilaration_. Holds him closer than a lover would;

"Thank you."

Thank you thank you _thank you_. For someone as special as you to be there for someone as inconsequential as me....For being there even when I don't want you to be....For making me promises I know you can't keep yet strive to anyway. For being there, for being there, for _being_ there.... For being Naruto.

Thank you.

Her face is a grimace of pain, of too much feeling of too much care, was this the last thank you? No, it's the last time I'm going to let you do something for me, Naruto.

No more promises, no more risks, no more needing you...I know that much now, this needs to be the last time.

Thank you.

Thank you.

_Thank you, Naruto._

* * *

AN: I enjoyed touching up on this one, thanks guys. NaruSaku forever!


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I've retouched this chapter up a bit, curing grammar and spelling mistakes and whatnot like you guys advised in your reveiws. Thanks ever so much! I have to say it's much better now, so read at your leisure. And leaving a reveiw is always apreciated.

_Title:So Long And Goodnight  
Author: TwistedInABottle  
Genre:Angst, Drama, Romance...  
Characters: NaruSaku, Team Seven  
Rating: M  
Summary: Sakura leaves because she doesn't know who'll be her biggest regret if she stays._

* * *

"I hate people who'd lie to themselves."

She doesn't remember being so furious. So utterly angry at someone she cares about. It's not about how she gets shot down confessing yet still confesses anyway _Sakura, haven't you learnt by now?_ No, it's _being_ here and having Naruto look at her like that. Cold, stiff, tense, with the bridge of his nose red and staring her down, hands tight on her shoulders...

She shoves him away. _Isn't this what you always wanted? I'm telling you this now, it's not about Sasuke-kun anymore, I'm telling you this and I _know_ you wouldn't accept it, that's just _my luck_, but aren't you even going to try and believe me even...even for a second? Things have changed, things are different, and I can't look at you the same angry way I used to, Naruto, _please _I don't lie about these things! I don't lie and if I was then why won't you tell me whether it's true or not, tell me whether someone as good as you could still love someone like me? Why won't you stop trying to read between the lines? Can't you see I want you back home? Not here, in this dark cold country where I know you'll meet him and I'm _terrified_ of it because I know you can't bring him back. Why can't you accept it? I've accepted it!_

_**You've Given up**_

No, I've let go!

_**Letting go is the same as giving up.**_

Screw you! I love Sasuke-kun, but that's not Sasuke-kun anymore, that's _someone else_, and I don't want him, I want _you. _Naruto, I want _you! _Can't you see that? Can't you see that I love you?

"Sai, Kiba, Lee." she barks. "Lets go."

Forgive me, Naruto. He has to stop hurting you. He's not the same.

Sorry, because from now on, I've decided. Sasuke or Sakura. You can't have us both.

And I'm not going to get left behind again, I swear it!

* * *

Sasuke didn't say a word to her. She hit him, tried to break apart that iron facade because she knows he's boiling black underneath with emotions too strong and dark for her to be capable of.

But it wasn't enough, she had hit him with her words were she needed to hit with her fists. She had talked him down to be met with silence, with Kiba and Lee and Sai standing behind her, ready as the situation got more and more hopeless. Her voice shrill with cold, with anger, with pride, with _too much she can't name._

I'm here, and If you don't leave Naruto alone then I won't forgive you.

The snow is crisp, his skin is alabaster, pale, tired, too much power, not enough. _Slip_-_Slip_-_Slit_-_Slit_ of scissors cutting away bonds. Maybe he's realised how much we've all changed? He's changed so much, doesn't he care? _At all?_

Sasuke doesn't care much about her sentiments, why should he give a damn about an annoying girl and whether whatever he does offends her or affects her. Why should he care, this is his _destiny_, destiny doesn't give a damn about the rest of the world, destiny happens.

He'll kill Naruto.

That Akatsuki cloak, red clouds on black cloth...she doesn't see it long enough before deciding that Sasuke isn't worth her words, maybe she should kill him and she's afraid because Haruno Sakura knows that in the shallow breaths misting the air before them, this could be her last fight, she might die, and, really this is an impossible enemy, he's stronger than her, _does Sasuke have a consciense? _and Kiba and Lee and Sai and Akamaru might die, and it will be her fault and if she dies...if she does die, then Naruto will never forgive any of them. But Kiba and Lee are there and Sai and Akamaru, in the present, here, only us and _not_ Naruto's_._ Thank kami.

Tonight she learns of many things, from the mouth of a masked Uchiha Madara (_wasn't he supposed to be dead?_), about long dead clans and Rinnegans and Moons and Ninja wars.

Sakura learns of things the whole of Team Seven knew and kept from her. _Why is she always the one out of the loop? _She's not weak, she's grown, _why_ are they still keeping thing from her?!

"It's their destiny, to fight each other. To kill each other, it's out of anyone's control. They both know this. It's destiny."

Destiny? _Destiny?!_ Screw_ destiny_! Destiny means it's out of my hands, it means I can't do anything about it, it means that _they're _part of the Circle, and I'm _outside_ the Circle and I'm always watching always _always_ watching watching, _always __outside_ The Circle - does destiny say he has to die? Does destiny say I'll _always_ be looking at somebody's back, no matter how much stronger I get, no matter how _hard _I work, I'll end up being just as fragmented and twisted and torn inside as Tsunade-shishou?

Sakura's decided, tugging her gloves securely, that tonight she's throwing it _all_. None of this crap is _for_ her. Naruto has done too much and she's not just going to watch this time, this _crap_ isn't what they deserve.

Tonight, Haruno Sakura has declared _War_ on Destiny.

* * *

Sasuke wonders, dodging a fist that blurs the air with its massive force, ripping himself away from sembons and shurinkens and poison that bruises the inside of his lungs. Sasuke wonders what happened to the old Sakura, which one was real, this one or the one before, _did he actualy ever know the other one?_

He wonders when she started caring so much.

He wonders why she's more powerful trying to kill him than trying to bring him back.

Somewhere, Sasuke regrets. Wonders if this is how Itachi felt, when the past that used to love you, hates you, with killing intent.

Sasuke has never been hated, not quite like this. No one has come at him like this before.

Sakura has always been emotional, yes. It's one of her weaknesses but if she uses it, masters it, unleashes it, it's...it's also one of her greatest strengths. He wonders when he started thinking of her as beautiful, why he's slightly dissapointed she's not calling him back, why it feels so _strange_...Everything so different yet so uncannily the _same_.

_But she doesn't love you anymore. _

Not the way she used to, not quite. Maybe.

He smiles/sneers/grimaces . _Naruto, you made her stronger._

Sasuke thinks it's about time he turns on his sharingan.

* * *

Tsunade-shishou is awake, old, tired, awake. Hokage now. Danzou...? He won't show his face up anymore. No one really cares about him, not now, too busy, they're in the middle of a war anyways.

Naruto's not allowed out and this is Sakura's chance, if any, to _do_ something. For once in your life, goddammit, Sakura you can _do _something.

She knows that as Naruto's friend she's a liability, Tsunade knows that they can't use her apprentice as a feild mednin or anywhere out because if _anything _happened to Sakura-chan while Naruto still breathes then there's _no way_ they'll be able to contain him.

Sakura declines staying in the same refuge as Naruto, if she can't help with the war effort she'd rather do something else, have _Hinata _stay for the blond stubborn fool, Hinata's a capable mednin aint she and she loves Naruto doesn't she? _I_ can't love Naruto can I? Who cares what Naruto thinks, who cares whether he wants Sakura there but can't accept she loves him, if he can't accept it then neither can she. Besides, if Naruto staying with Fugaku was safe in that mysterious toad sage realm that Naruto never talks to her about then wouldn't staying with the slugs be similar, wouldn't Sakura be safe with the Slugs? No harm done, all the benefits gained?

Sakura is tired, tired of Ghosts, _could've-beens_, _should've-beens _and she can't stay here, not anymore.

Sasuke-kun had his shot at leaving, to learn. Naruto left with Jiraiya-sama, to see the world, to grow stronger, why can't I, why can't _I_ have _my_ chance?

Tsunade is old and she doesn't think she has much to live, someone has to continue the legacy, she can't argue with her, she can't argue with her apprentice who stands her ground with feirce eyes of an accusing green. Tsunade is tired, grimaces. Sakura frowns but does not look away.

They both know that the baton is being passed and the baton's burden with it.

_Toad beats Slug beats Snake beats Toad beats Slug beats Snake... _

She hates this circle, but she has to be part of it_. _

And so we continue dancing.

* * *

"You're running away." says Kakashi-sensei, flipping a page.

Sakura doesn't deny it, sitting next to sensei, hearing the leaves breath in the trees... all of it doesn't make her feel like lying is the _answer_.

Sakura wants to say a lot of things.

She wants to tell sensei to go to hell and didn't _he_ ever want to run away? Isn't that why he's always late, because of phantoms with missing eyes and a sweet brown haired girl with plasters on her cheeks and a too beautiful man that kept on living on even after he died. But Sakura thinks there's enough cruelty in the world not to bring painful pasts back to the surface and that to an extent, some people _needed_ ghosts, like Kakashi-sensei. She can't imagine any other Kakashi in a different time, in a better world where his precious people were still breathing, he just wouldn't be the Kakashi he is now.

So instead, Sakura says;

"I know."

* * *

They haven't talked, _really _talked since her failed mission. Ino says it's normal and he'll come around Forehead, don't worry. But... Sakura doesn't think Naruto will ever come around. He still laughs and jokes, but he's _pushing_ himself and there's a strain to his smile and that damn _feeling_ is back.

Ino knows the 'feeling', Sakura was always whining about it, especialy after the three year gap and the 'feeling' was Sasuke;

Like every conversation she had with Naruto was linked with that damn _promise_, like there was this big Sasuke-shaped _hole_ that no one could squeeze into, not even poor Sai. This... This damn hole they always seemed to be dancing around, in shape of Sai's fake smiles, at Ichiraku's, in the way Kakashi would drill them about how they were not gennin any more, that they need to grow up, grow up, grow up, MOVE on, one-day-you-need-to-move and you know you can't, but you need to, need to, needtomove...

They were dancing again and she _hated_ it.

Naruto didn't say anything when he had intercepted her group. But he had got pretty angry at Sasuke and the way Sasuke had come at her with his kusunagi. Naruto had been pretty pissed and for a while she thought things might finaly turn around and then he'd maybe give up that cursed promise.

But Madara had whisked Sasuke away before the fight could finish (big surprise there, didn't see _that_ one coming) and that had only made Naruto more determined to bring him back.

"I'm leaving." She says, pack slung across one shoulder, bumping on her hip. Voice raspy from tears that came from saying goodbye to parents who never wanted their daughter to experience life this way, from saying goodbye and thank you to a not-quite-rival, not-quite-friend but more sister than she realised, saying goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. For ribbons and flower arrangements for kunais and shurinkens and rough haircuts.

Tsunade left for some sake a while ago. Left them in the Hokage to talk it out. Naruto is quiet and a quiet Naruto does not sit well with anyone. Tsunade has had enough grief in her life to see her own ruined love-life repeat itself with her apprentice's. Tsunade _hates_ circles.

Naruto doesn't know his teamates anymore. He doesn't know Sakura, he doesn't know Sasuke. He wonders if this is his fault and can't help but feel it is and it isn't. Maybe he shouldn't have left those three years with Ero-Sannin maybe he should have stayed to keep an eye on her, to stop her growing.

Because Sakura's _changed_. He doesn't know the girl standing there in the Hokage's office.

"You didn't beleive in me." He tells her in quiet tones. "You didn't have faith in me even though I promised."

Sakura sighs, she's tired and angry. "I don't care anymore. If you want Sasuke-kun back, then know I won't be here."

"How can you say that?"

She rubs her temples, tries not to look at the way the light from the window outlines him on the ledge, or the Hokage pictures staring her down from the wall.

"I believe in you Naruto. But I believe in reality more," she says. "Maybe I understand Sasuke-kun a little better after I learnt that stuff from Madara. He told me more than you ever bothered to. I understand Sasuke-kun better, and it's brought us nothing more than misery and he's better were he is now because everything here is different and I might not want him dead, but I don't want him back either." She's rambling, but she doesn't care anymore. "And I don't want to be here and know that something will always be missing, everywhere I go...everywhere there are ghosts and I can't stand to be in Konoha. Not anymore. Not when you keep things from me and not when you'll never believe me , never believe what I feel, never believe in me, always always wanting the past and never accepting that things change and we can't go back to being Team Seven anymore. Not how we used to be."

"I keep things from you because I have to."

"You didn't keep anything from Sasuke! He knew about the Kyuubi before I did, I can accept that then because we were gennin at the time, he was your friend and I...I was just a girl that bothered him a lot, annoying, treated you like trash, I wasn't a very good teammate, then." she bites her lip. "But later, I thought you came to trust me. I thought we were closer, I thought you could tell me things."

"Sakura..."

"But you never said anything! Everything, you guys _knew_ everything that went on, even Sai! And you never let on to me!"

"You don't understand - "

She laughs bitterly. "It makes sense why I always have to be saved now, it's because when I go into battle I'm normaly so badly informed about things that my Team is supposed to have told me and then no wonder I always get saved. You guys never tell me anything and I'm sick and tired and I don't want to - "

Naruto straightens and she has never seen such cold darkness hard on his features. "Don't say things like that."

"Like what? Like I love you Naruto? Like that?"

He growls, low and gutteral and furious, pushes away from the wall. "Don't say that."

"Why? Why can't you believe me? Why can't you see that it's different now?"

"How? How is it different?!"

"You just don't want to hear it! You think loving Sasuke is different from loving you, if I stop loving Sasuke-kun then is that fraying another bond?! You want everything to stay the same way it's always been in the past, you think if I keep loving him everything will be the same and he'll come back!" she grabbed hold of his shirt, shook him. "_Newsflash,_ I _told_ Sasuke-kun I loved him a long time ago. Geuss what? He turned around and called me 'annoying'. There, I did it, I told him and it didn't change him, what makes now any different, I couldn't even make him stay, I couldn't...so, so what makes loving him now any more a reason for him to come back?!"

Naruto stares at her. Keeps staring at her until he is sure that he has her face memorised in his mind. "You told him."

"Yes." breathing hard. "I told him. But I don't, not anymore...it's you, Naruto. It's been you for longer than ever."

It's his turn to push her away, pulls her hands from his shirt, takes a step back as if he's felt the same burn at contact she has. "I can't break my promise. I owe this team..."

"You owe yourself more! For once, think about yourself for once!"

He can't hear her. "I'll never be anything if I break my ninja way."

Sakura sighs, she feels so tired, so _tired_. Shakes a hand through her locks, breathes. _Fine then. You can't have us both. _Sakura's not cruel enough to force him into making a decision, she doesn't want to be in a situation where he has to choose one of them and she ends up being dissapointed,_ I don't want that circumstance to catch me off gaurd. That's why I've decided to do something about it. _Thankyou, Naruto.

She smiles despite herself, reaches out to him, threads her fingers through his hair, ignores his stony expression, his betrayed/serious blue eyes, runs her knuckles gently down his jaw.

_That's why I'm leaving._

"I'm going." she says firmly. "Don't wait for me."

"I won't let you leave, Sakura-chan." he breathes. "You walk out that door and I'll find you, I'll drag you back."

"I don't know when I'll come back. Stay here, be safe, let the war get done. But don't wait for me." she goes on as if he's never spoken and there's something he should be seeing in her eyes and he can't catch it quick enough for the life of him to understand it. "Get married, become Hokage, have some kids...go on with life. I'll be happy for you. But, if you wait for me then I won't come back. You understand, Naruto-baka?"

Her eyes are green. Not emerald, not aquamarine...just, _green. _Naruto lets her lips brush against his whiskered cheeks, doesn't let his face soften even for a moment, watches her silently as she walks out the door and a part of Sakura was terrified, because, Kami, his eyes could have owned a thousand suns and to be on the receiving end of that look, she knows, right then she knows...He'll be great one day.

Don't wait for me.

Sakura walks out, feels the air and laughs like the twelve year old she used to be because from this moment she's free. And she loves it, will love it for as long as she can.

* * *

AN: Yup, edited this again and corrected all the grammar and spelling issues that might have been there before. I have exams right now and I can't upload any new chapters any time soon because I'm real busy trying not to fail my finals, so, If I ever want to get into Nottingham Law, then, you'll have to settle with edits of my old chapters. Thanks to all the readers of this fic, your support has been amazing, and I'm not dropping this any time soon, I'll finish it soon, beleive it. As soon as I can.

So...reviews?


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Your support has been very much apreciated, thankyou for the reveiws. Any feedback is very much apreciated. Read on.**

* * *

_Don't fall in love with travellers, _

_they are on a journey._

* * *

Her face upturned, smiling at the light that shafts through the tree branch ceiling, leaf shadow dappled across her skin is how Sakura will remember her years of freedom. Filled with gold and green and the content happiness of a lone traveler, with no destination in mind, at peace with oneself and the world opened to you so you can look ahead and_ keep_ looking ahead because the horizon isn't out of reach and its _calling_ out to you.

No more Konoha, no more kunoichi titles,_friend to the Kyuubi_, _almost-lover to the last Uchiha_, no more _where are you from_ and _what's your ulterior motive_ and all that troublesome politics,

Just Haruno Sakura.

And now, after two whole years staying with the slugs she's **more.**

_Sannin._

She's going to stay on the road for a while. She feels like a forest spirit, breezing through villages in countries that she'd only ever dreamt about five years formerly. And villages always welcomed her, gazing upon her like she was some sort of legend because there was always sick people to heal, mountains to upturn and all of that.

The war was dwindling down to its end but there were still criminals and refugees and missing nins haunting the pathways and that made sure she was up to par with battling herself out of such situations, and feeling so awesome at the fact that she could kick ass all on her own with techniques that Tsunade-shishou could grin over because damn she was strong and she didn't need any-one to save her now and the whole world knew that, they called her Sannin now,_ take that Sasuke, Naruto, I'm not looking at your backs anymore! I'm on my own, living the fast life and I'm happier than I've been in years!_

"Sakura-sama's coming!" civilian children would shout, not in warning as they would if Naruto was barreling down the road or if Sasuke was stalking with crimson death in his eyes – but with joy, with gratitude because_ she_ came, and healed without question because the war had meant a lot of casualties and her visiting warmed their hearts in a time so rife with chaos.

That time of her life was the greatest. She understood with her petal pink hair, green eyes and the diamond teardrop on her forehead she was an unusual vision to behold, that she didn't want anything from them, sorted out their wounds calmly, graced them with her brightest smiles and would usually be found in the quiet parts of the village bar, sitting alone, enjoying a cup of sake made her all the more compelling, all the more awe mysterious.

She liked being looked at like that, to be seen as a living breathing legend, something in her glowed and grew and whenever she heard it and it made her feel...it made her feel _needed_ and _wanted_and more full of worth than any one back in Konoha could.

Haruno Sakura.

Just Haruno Sakura.

* * *

Sometimes she tries to feel guilty that the war is ending and she's still not made plans to come back. Because, it's been three years since she left Konoha for the slug realm and now she's mastered the summoning, done all of it, and she still hasn't sent word nor spoken to even one Leaf shinobi. Six months later she's still going further and further away.

But then Sakura remembers Tsunade-shishou, her faith in Sakura despite being the Legendary Sucker and the corner of the inn she's staying at happens to be filled with the comforting sultry smoke of cigarettes and sake and there's a table full of tough looking men playing dice cups, yelling, howling, hooting and being rowdy in general.

A smile curves itself deliciously at the corner of her lips.

That night, Sakura starts gambling. And she throws herself into it with a poker face Tsunade-hime would be proud of, does it with a grace and cunning that defies any man's reason, for _who_can resist the green green eyes such a woman slants you from under such dark lashes, nor the intelligence they emanate that makes the ashy air a little smokier, a little harder to breathe, no man has heard the blank 'go fish' sound more elusive than from the rosette lips of Legendary Sannin Haruno Sakura.

She's been a lot of things, quick smart, dangerous, pretty, compassionate, generous, lonely...

But that night is the first time Sakura is called beautiful.

_And it's not the last._

* * *

A few miles off Wind country, someone sees her; it's a face she recognizes because Sakura can't ever forget a patient.

She's digging her fist out of the ground, flicking away the earth and dust from her shoulder after a brief tussle with three missing nin. The field is something that now resembles an earthquake zone, littered with shurinkens, the dead nins scrolls discarded in the onslaught of battle and it's only when she turns to leave that she notices him standing on the edge of the trees she hadn't felled, agile and dangerous looking on his perch on the lower branches.

"Long time no see." there's that slightly crazed grin of his. "You've been around, ne?"

She gives her equipment a one-over and smiles politely, just a little bit shocked and surprised that he's the one to meet her first after all these years. "I've been on the road, yes." she's hoping that as she walks towards and past him, going on her way that he'll go on his and he'll leave her alone. _It's too early for ghosts._ "Sorry if I wrecked the landscape."

"Tch. I'm afraid it's not as simple as that." He drawls. "Some would deem you missing nin."

"I got permission from Tsunade-shishou, I have every right to be here _puppet-boy._" she waves at him dismissively, ignoring his presence as he follows fluidly from the branches. "I'm not in precious Wind country and the war's over. You can let it slide."

"Maybe so," he mused thoughtfuly. "But if your teammate were to find out you were in Fire..."

She stops rigidly as if her bloods frozen over.

"It was hard on him, during the war." he continued less sly and more serious, more stern. "Always restless, always looking for you. He's never stopped, even within the vicinity of his refuge he'd give us hell for it because you left him. You know that?" she heard him sigh, drop with a heavy grace to the ground and come a tentative few steps closer in a way that was more concerned than accusing. "I'll have to give information now. You know that. You've been damn hard to track, but once a shinobi goes Sannin then people who witness them don't really keep quiet about it. It's only recently that your movements have become more traceable and as soon as he gets a hint of your whereabouts it'll only be a matter of time before Naruto notices...he'll come after you.

"I'm serious Sakura, you should go back to Konoha, you're hurting him and it's only a matter of time before the shit hits the fan."

"Alright."

Sakura smiles over her shoulder at him and she's kind of beautiful in a sad sort of way that makes the streaks across Kankuro's face twist in a grimace because he knew what kind of a girl Haruno Sakura was, and she could be stubborn as hell and hiding behind a fake smile was something she'd been known to do. "I guess that means you think you can outrun anyone."

"I'm not running." she says softly but firmly. _I'm being chased._ "Decide whether you want to log this information on me or not, just remember – you owe me one." It's a bit underhanded but it's all she's _got_. For the puppet on your back and for the poison. You owe your life to me and I know how Sand Shinobi hate taking loan without repaying the debt. "Remember what I've done for you."

He smirks and it's pained because the message is not lost on him but she doesn't hang around to wait and see whether he'll tell or not, she's taken off into the trees, traveling once more.

_Running._

* * *

Hinata will never forget the promise she made those many years ago, with a kunoichi dropping onto her bedroom, leaning into the room pensively from her perch on her window ledge with dark brooding green eyes and a stubborn set to her jaw.

She'd given Hinata no choice when it came to Naruto, and the encounter would forever remain fixated in her mind. She'd never seen Sakura talk like that, firm and almost threatening.

"Take care of him." Was the order. "Be there for him. And don't let him die."

Hinata stuttered, pale eyes filled with sadness at the trials and tribulations of such a demand, of course she loved Naruto, but did Sakura really have to leave?

"I'm going to become Sannin and I won't be coming back, not any time soon."

I'll never be enough for him, Sakura-san. I don't think I could ever do the job as well as you…Naruto-kun, he'll never accept me the way he does you.

"You love him don't you." She snaps, not coming down from the window sill, scowling at the curtains. "So you'll have enough time to convince him without me here. Don't give up so easily on him, you acknowledged him first, make sure he acknowledges you. He will."

You…you love Naruto-kun don't you? Sakura-san, why are you doing this when you know…?

"Hinata." A sigh, a softening of the features. "You can do more for him than he'd ever let me do. Okay? You can make him happy, ne? I could only try."

Well, Sakura-san, I can only try too. We're the same.

She grins suddenly. "Make sure he becomes Hokage. It's his dream, make sure he gets there."

Hinata nods.

"Thank you." She tastes the words on her mouth, a strange dejavu feeling steals over her, she grimaces at it. "Thank you, Hinata-chan."

"I'll try my best." She says, and there is no stutter in the Hyuuga's voice, nor in her eyes, but an insistence that wavers Sakura with its sudden fierceness. "But I cannot guarantee anything."

Sakura nods, leaves.

_With Naruto-kun, I could only try._

* * *

Someone's watching her and she can tell well enough when she's being tracked. _There are three shinobi _Katsuya tells her quietly when she smokes into existence, taking the farmiliar position on Sakura's shoulder. Sakura tries not to tense, asks quietly what headbands they are wearing, outwardly as calm as possible so as not to alert them of this new-found information.

_Leaf jounins, they look familiar._

Sakura nods, dismisses Katsuya, smiles vaguely because she has a feeling who these shinobi are and she's willing for them to tag along in the shadows, to watch her until one of them cracks. If they are her classmates, or even her teammates then she knows how to discomfort them into coming out. So Sakura ignores them for the next couple of days.

The first day she crosses into villages near Mist and meets the border patrols, converses flatly with them about who she is and yes, she knows she's in the bingo book but she's not missing nin. They don't give her too many problems, they know who she is and she goes through the rest of the day attending to peasants in the local hospital.

The air is crispy cold, like diamonds and she finds the change refreshing even though she knows she has to make sure she doesn't die of frostbite or catch pneumonia she still leaves the window of her room at the inn open so she can stare out at the scenery and feel the ragged jagged air fresh in her lungs.

_(It's not because she's waiting for someone to come in.)_

After healing she catches an hour at the hot springs, till her skin feels warm and fresh and tingles forever after when it contrast with the cold onslaught of the outdoor air. She smirks, knows that as her peers they would probably be outraged if they found out she knew they were watching.

Then later, she'll head off to the tavern, take a stool at the bartop and signal the bartender for a bottle of sake, and sip by herself till she got bright enough to banter with the potential males sitting next to her. She liked the way the drink made her feel, she never got drunk, she just sipped enough to make her a little light headed, to get that bounce in her step, to make her feel _bright bright bright._

And she feels lucky but she doesn't stray towards the company in the corner, arguing over cards because she's sure her trackers reactions would be explosive if she tried, so she's leaving that for later.

Then when she's drunk enough to spin away the dreams then she feels its safe enough to go to sleep.

She does this for three days, waits for him for three days, each time trying to wind him tighter and tighter with her behavior, like letting the pale place where her neck meet her shoulder be seen when she loosened her collar, ran a hand over her nape, letting her locks run through her fingers as she spoke coyly with the bartender, flirted with the man next to her.

The fourth night, she's tired of waiting, and she moves towards the gambling table. Tosses out dice and cards with a flourish, pouts at the dealer says something about how they should give a girl a chance to get her money back when she feels _him_ snap and she knows that somehow she's crossed a line with her invisible tracker and that she'll be confronted about it.

Sakura looses all her cards, she's distracted because she's never been good with ghosts and she could use a little confidence right now. So she gets up and walks, floats through the smoke and darkness of the tavern, the ashy musky scent of risk, sits alone on the stool at the bar-top and orders sake.

Green eyes mute, head craned on one hand, leaning over her drink. It's now or never, she can't avoid it, if she runs then she'll be a coward and he'll never stop chasing her. It's best she talks to them, faces them firmly then maybe she'll be able to pull of Sasuke-kun's Oto expression and tell them that she doesn't care anymore. He'll see right through it, Naruto was like that. She traced the circles with the condensation the cup left on the scarred boards of the bar-top, blurred them out, refused to look up because she was afraid, and anxious and her heart was beating faster than a stampeding horse.

Sakura didn't want to see how much he changed, she was afraid she'd be afraid if he had stayed the same and the anxiousness, the trepidation exploding with the sweetness of smoke in her lungs was enough to make her a little breathless, a little dizzy.

_Don't wait for me._

He'd come. He was here, maybe...had he understood?

_Don't wait for me._

There, somewhere behind her, standing close enough so she could feel the coldness frost in curls from him, she noted belatedly that it must have been because it'd been raining outside. He's like a giant, or a large tree and ignoring him is like trying to pretend the branches that loom a breath from your neck aren't there and it's impossible to do that. She doesn't say anything and he doesn't say anything and their silence screams at them so loud it drowns out all other sounds.

Sakura doesn't look up, green eyes mute, she traces little circles from the condensation of her sake cup left on the scarred boards of the bartop, blurs them out, refuses to look up because she's afraid and anxious and her heart is -

"Sakura-chan."

Sakura forgets how to breathe.

"You knew I was watching."

His tones are quiet and serious and older and angry. She can sense the anger because Naruto keeps such a tight leash on it it's hard _not _to notice it spitting and boiling and roaring under this recent self-control of his...she's a little bit afraid, but not too much because this is Naruto and Naruto would rather kill himself than hurt her, would kill whoever did something to her while he was still breathing. Right? She startles herself with the blankness if her reply. "It's hard not to know when you're the one doing the following, Naruto." Sakura lifts her cup a little, tries to distract herself from looking at him by watching its depths. "You should have left the tracking to Kakashi-sensei and Neiji, you shouldn't have come with them."

She's very sure she can hear his knuckles go white with their violence and she tries not to be thrilled at the prospect of a confrontation.

"I'm here to take you back home." he grits out, he's very controlled this time and she can imagine the line of his jaw tightening, does he look different now that they're older, she's nineteen now, does he think she looks different? "Tsunade-baa-chan promised that you'd be with the slugs for the whole war so why the hell are you here?"

"Tsunade-shishou lied a little bit." she rubs her sore neck, sets down the cup, tries to calm the throbbing of her brain because she had forgotten how stressful Naruto could be and he's not changed in that aspect. "I'm not coming home, I told you, Naruto. If I do, then it's on my own terms."

"Bullshit."

Naruto is a blur that's suddenly to her right, he's faster than she'd ever thought he could be, maybe even faster than Sasuke-kun now. She tilts her head slighly to in the other direction so she doesn't have to see him clearly, but he's close enough to know that he's surpassed her in height further than before. She crosses a leg over the other casualy, pretends to be unpertrubed by his closeness, the rain dampness of his gold gold hair and the probing tendrils of his gaze that have always been so intense, so exhilarating and frightening because they overwhelm you with the wild wild of blue.

She remembers the Hokage pictures staring down at her in Tsunade-shishou's office, tries to pretend that Naruto couldn't pass for The Fourth now more than ever before. So she gives small distant laugh that's so hollow it makes her want to flinch. "How's Hinata-chan?"

"Don't behave like a child."

She whips her head and glares at him before she can stop herself. His eyes are still so blue, _like Apollo, ne?_ And his staring straight back at her and she can't look away because dammnit Naruto, you've gotten older and brighter that it makes me wonder how much _I've_ changed. _Oh Kami, Naruto you're jounin now aren't you, I always knew the jacket would fit right, your shoulders are broad now and your taller and your hair...It's damp and jagged and gold and stuck across your cheeks and wanting to fall in your eyes..._

"I'm not a child." she sounds dazed and she must be interesting because he's looking at her strangely, with focus and a hard softness to his eyes and she thinks he's trying to make a picture in his head the same way she's making one of him and _maybe_ just a little, he's _regretting_? maybe, just a little bit he wants, _needs_ her? She blinks, because her eyes sting a little and she thinks maybe she's had a little too much sake. It'd be foolish to hope, so she said nothing and she looked away.

He's still looking at her and it makes her throat flush red because she's so very conscious of that stare, but Naruto speaks softly. "Your hair, it's longer."

"Still pink." she muttered, hoping to divert his attention with some humor. But she sighs, because Naruto's still looking and she doesn't want any of this and it's impossible to turn him away when he's so _fixiated._ "Don't do this to me, Naruto." she doesn't care if her voice has a small tremble to it. "Stop, when you say things like that...it only makes it worse."

He's frowning, a little hurt, a little confused yet not so much. "I'm not doing anything to you."

"Don't," sharper this time. "Don't pretend to want me, stop looking at me, stop_ doing_ and _saying _these _things_ when you...when you don't want me."

Being near him is burning her, it's hurting her and it's almost as bad as being near Sasuke-kun, but worse somehow because this is Naruto and Naruto is supposed to understand. She wants to leave now, she can't stand being so close to Naruto in here, close enough to feel that earthy sandal wood smell that is his smell and cup ramen. Naruto isn't allowed to be a ghost but he damn well acts like one. She unfolds herself from the bartop, straightens and tells him goodnight, she's brushing past him and he catches her arm, grip tighter than steel, eyes softer than steel and his words are barely a whisper, raspy with his honesty;

"Ofcourse I want you, Sakura-chan."

He sounds so much like the past, like their twelve again and she wonders how things could've turned out if she had chosen him earlier, if he had let her. Except that they aren't twelve because Naruto is so tall her head only comes to his throat, and they are standing so close that the space between them is a manifestation in itself, spinning with heat and sake and smoke and sandal wood that the air feels tight and jagged and too uneven to inhale.

She once thought Sasuke-kun would kiss her. She's never been kissed before, she's never wanted so badly like she does now for Naruto to lean just a little bit closer, so the hand he's used to corner her by placing it on the side of her stool and on the crooked wooden bar could bump against her hip.

"I've wanted you since we were kids."

_Naruto don't hurt me. Please, don't pull away, please don't hurt me._ She feels she can shatter so easily, fragment into thousand peices if he pulls away, or worse, if he doesn't and he apologises and regrets it afterwards. And he's staring at her lips, looking at her like she's something _important?_ something_ special?_

Then something flickers in his eyes and she knows where this converstaion is going, and his mouth forms the word 'but' and she can just _tell_ which name he's going to say after and there's that look of restraint, of pulling away, pulling back in his eyes again. Sakura doesn't want to be stranded, she doesn't want to hear it, she doesn't want to be stranded again, she wants to put her hands on her ears and scream and scream over the words she knows Naruto wants to say, is _going_ to say.

It's too early for ghosts. The dissapearing justsu leaves a whirl of cherry blossoms because Sakura doesn't want to leave tear drops on the floor and Naruto's eyes are so blue when he's startled and it's too early, too early for him to accept to understand what she feels as _real_, that what she feels is _bright_ and _gold _and_ blue,_ not raven black with the paleness of ash. Sakura doesn't want to break so early.

He crushes the cherry blossoms between his fingers, all the noise of the bar comes roaring back twicefold and it makes his head hurt and he swears at the bartender because he's looking at him strange-wise and how could _he_ possibly understand? The blurry spheres Sakura's traced on the scarred wooden bar-top are circles, and that's enough to offend him.

Naruto leaves not off his own choice because Neji and Kakashi are the only ones strong enough to drag him out of the tavern, apologise to the owner, compensate him for all the damage done.

They do not ask why Naruto's hands are riddled with splinters.

* * *

_Some ghosts never die._

* * *

**AN: Okay fellas, the nest chapter is the last. NaruSaku fans, keep the faith, there is an end in sight.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN; More about what things have been happening to who during Sakura's absence and how Naruto and the Rookies have dealt with it. Ofcourse, there is the inevitable need for closure between Sasuke and Sakura, but I'm still making this NaruSaku, so don't panic!**

**I keep saying that every chapter will be the last and yet it never is. I'm annoyed with myself for dragging this out, I need to finish this fic and go back to my life! Argh!**

**Anyway, thanks for the review responses people, you've been awesome.**

* * *

I'm tired. Tired of feeling so useless, helpless,powerless. Tired of being unable to keep my promises, of not being able to beat sense into the Teme and tired of letting Sakura go - I _can't_ let them go, I can't I can't I _can't._ Letting them go means I'm a liar and I don't lie, when I make promises I _mean_ them, people know I mean them and they believe in me. They believe in me and I believe in things bigger than fate.

All my life I've been told what I _can't_ do. Deadlast. Dobe. Baka. Nothing but a low-class kid who'd never make gennin. But I showed them, that I could, because I don't believe in boundaries and limits, and I don't believe _someone_ can _tell_ you you _can't _do_ something_. Anything is possible, Everything is within your reach, you just gotta reach for it and keep reaching for it because I don't give up, I'll _never __give up._

So don't forget it, Kakashi-sensei. Don't look at me like you see something waiting to crumble, I _hate_ it when people look at me like that, like I'll shatter under my own resolve to do everything, to keep promises. It won't break me, all my team's broken, I need to stay compact for them, if I break then it's just the same as every other story, just the same as this cycle you old people keep on lamenting about. I'm _not_ Jiraiya, Sasuke is _not_ Orichimaru and Sakura is _not_ Tsunade. Sasuke _will_ come back, I won't forget about him, and Sakura - I'll bring her back too, she loves him, I _know_ she does...

The Teme, he needs her. I _know_ he needs her, because...because protecting Sakura in our gennin days used to make Sasuke feel useful, thankful that he could protect _somebody_, because to him Sakura was weak, just like he used to be weak and Itachi used to protect _him_. Sasuke understands weakness, he protected Sakura because he knew what it was like, he wanted to be strong for her, it made him feel strong and sometimes there was this smirk, a tiny indent in his cheeks, this _tilt_ of his head, that one meant _just_ for Sakura, even when he called her annoying and behaved like an asshole. I know there was a sense of disparaging acknowledgement, a fondness, deep within his gaze. That's why Sasuke doesn't know how to react to Sakura these days, because he's scared shitless of whatever he does _for_ her or _to_ her, intentional or unintentional, he's afraid of what any action would imply. Sometimes I thought maybe she was the only one who could reach out to him from the other girls, she's close to him - he denies it, but I _know_ - she's the only girl he ever let close and I know he doesn't mean to hurt her, he can't help himself. I need to protect Sakura-chan until he cools down, I can't do that if she's not here.

She's not mine, no matter what she says. Sakura-chan...when we were kids...Sakura-chan wanted Sasuke to _acknowledge_ her, Kakashi-sensei, you just don't let_ go_ of things like that. I don't care what she says - no, I don't care, sensei! She can't mean things like that, not to me. She can't - he's a part of her...he needs her.

Right?

I can go on without her, he can't. He needs someone to forgive him. He needs someone there to forgive him. Sakura is just angry and confused, that's why she says things like that to me. She can't...what she feels for _me_...it's not...in the large scale of things, it won't _help_ anyone, it wont fix anything, it'll change things between all of us because Sakura was always meant for Sasuke and I'm better at loving her from afar. I love Sakura-chan, I've always loved her, in ways that run deep through the marrow of my bones, I wouldn't know _how_ not to love her.

Loving her like this is better, loving from afar. I'm better at loving her from far away, this way I'll always be useful, I can protect her, this way I don't run the risk of hurting her. I never meant her for myself, not since she loved Sasuke. I never meant Sakura for myself and I _can't_ mean her for myself because I can't give her what she wants, or needs. What she _needs_ is Sasuke. And yeah, it hurts, but I have to be there. I _have_ to nod my head and smile for them, because they're both hurting eachother and I can't bring them back individualy, I keep trying to, but Sakura and Sasuke won't come back until they understand eachother and are consolidated.

I don't believe in fate. I believe in faith.

And I'm going to do my best to bring them back, because even though the past is in the past, it still _lingers_ in all of us. It still makes us who we _are_, maybe, it won't determine what we will _be_ in future, but it will be a great part of our forever. Essentialy, Sasuke does want to come back. Essentially, we are his precious people. Essentially, you will always be late Kakashi-sensei, essentially Sakura wants to forgive Sasuke, and essentially I will _always_ love her.

Of course, right now, for the sake of diplomacy I can't bring Sasuke back, because he's missing-nin and war's about. He's still got Hunter-nins on him, they'll never catch him. Kira Bee is a nut-job, his brother is one of the types that hold violent grudges. I like them, but I'm pretty sure the former cheats at cards. By the way sensei, cards do break the monotony in the safe-houses, it's nice to catch up whenever I see a familiar face inbetween safe houses. And Hinata-chan is there for me, so it'd be alright, it's not _too_ lonely, I've been lonely for a long part of my childhood, I can handle a few more years of solitary confinement for my safety. I worry a lot about comrades who are out there dying for me, and there's an old irony in there somewhere that I won't let myself fully realise, because I'm not a bitter kind of guy. Loneliness is alright, it would be fine, if I didn't have to see Hinata's face all the time without feeling this complicated sort of _guilt_ every time I think about her. She loves me. Can you _believe _that? Hinata-chan loves me and I can't find it in me to tell her _anything_, to even _talk_ to her about it. It's painful, because I know what unrequited love feels like and it should be natural that I fall in line with Hinata, should be natural to fall _in love_ with her. But I _can't._ Kakashi-sensei, doesn't she see it, how can she love someone like me? When I have this _thing_ inside me. How can Hinata-chan _want _me when she know that I have nothing to give her. That's not love.

I'm grateful to her for lots of things. But not enough to love her the way she needs, not enough to look at her with the tenderness that Neiji can't quite hide. He's angry with me, but he understands, people like him and me are better protectors than lovers, the only way we can love is to give the people we love _away_. Yeah, loving Sakura from afar is not easy, not at all, it hurts, but loving from afar is less complicated.

So I can't bring the Teme back, not right now, I'm not going to delude myself and pretend everything is going to be the way it used to be. It's unlikely but not impossible that Sasuke will be granted pardon in the next three years, maybe in the next ten. Not enough pardon for him to live in the village, to start a clan, but I'll be Hokage then, right? I'll be Hokage then and I'll find a way to accomodate him. Hell, if I get him to acknowledge that he wants to come back then I'll stop chasing. I'll give him space, I'll make room for him to return. But it's not that simple because Sasuke keeps running, and I can't chase him in these conditions of war. I'll have to wait and be patient.

Kira Bee is crazy, sensei, his bro is alright, a bit red in the head with all his aggressive persona issues, but I'm pretty sure I can influence them a bit, soften him in future to lay off on Sasuke. It aint ' simple, not at all, but, maybe, in time, they'll lay off. People don't easily forget things, and I don't _know_ whether full forgiveness on their part can be guaranteed. Hell, Kakashi-sensei, I don't know if Sasuke _wants_ to be forgiven _that_ way. I'm vaguely certain he _needs_ to be forgiven, but I don't think he'll ever admit to _wanting_ to be forgiven.

That's where Sakura comes in.

I need Sakura to give up this...this _illusion_ that she loves me. I need her to come back. I need her to come with me so we can be a team together, so we can take Sasuke down and drag his ass home if not reach an understanding with him. We need closure, dammnit, we need to clear the air on some things. Sakura needs to be there.

The only reason I agreed to stay in the safe houses despite wanting to run off and help all my peers who are fighting for me is because Tsunade and I made a deal. I made her promise me three things;

One. No orders for any Leaf ninja to confront Sasuke will be taken up. Sasuke is to be left alone because he is _my_ business.

Two. If Sasuke IS caught or by any chance falls within Konoha's custody then he is not to be exposed. He will be held under guard, captive in sole discretion. No one is to know that we have him to avoid requests to execute him. Kakashi, I will not let anyone govern my teammate, whatever happens to him, it's up to me to decide. I won't forget all the crimes he's commited, but I will try to consolidate him. In time, I believe Sasuke can be made normal.

Three. After the war, before you take up position as Hokage, Tsunade has assented to me leaving Konoha on an S-ranked mission with Hatake Kakashi and Hyuuga Neiji to locate Haruno Sakura's whereabouts. There I will engage her and ask her to return. Except, we both know I won't be _asking_, Kakashi. This will be our last mission under you as our jounin.

I don't believe in fate. I believe in _faith._

I have faith that things can be fixed, I have faith in Team Seven, one that includes Sai and Yamato somehow. I believe that I can be happy only if Sasuke gets the girl, I believe that it won't hurt so much. I believe I will resist Sakura's green eyes. I believe I won't fall, hard. No matter what, I believe I can deny her long enough. I'll believe that loving Sakura from afar is easier, even though it's really not.

I believe we can overcome. I have faith. Faith keeps going in on me. And promises are all about faith, I'm not going to give them up. Not for anything.

I just have to keep trying.

* * *

They are wary of him now. Naruto's eyes are darker, full of solemn defiance that cowes everyone into silence. They knew that he had changed, they hadn't seen him much during the war, but the Rookies knew Naruto was different. Ino for one, was surprised, he had grown taller, he didn't act like a kid, this new more refined adult with Naruto's face was something that made her edgy.

He took the jounin exams. Passed with flying colours. She admitted to be in awe of him, even slightly afraid. It was unnerving how collected he could be, standing against the wall during mission breifings with an attentive air, lips pressed into a focused line, eyes blue and sharp staring ahead at whoever was speaking, hooded behind gold hair. The way the jounin vest hung about his shoulders was strangely dignified. He wasn't the same at all.

Maybe, loss makes us that way.

Hinata hangs about him, her presence is calming because she can tame Naruto those times the facade drops and he rages at all of them. Because Ino knows that they're all still guilty about planning to kill Sasuke without Naruto's consent, they're all guilty about it because they know it's also the reason Sakura left, they are guilty but they are not sorry. Sasuke was like a rabid animal, dangerous and in desperate need of being put down and killed. She knew. It had to be done. She wasn't sorry, they weren't, they just wished Naruto would forgive them, that he would understand and let the Uchiha go once and for all. They didn't like seeing him like this. Something foreign with only the slight hints of familiarity. But sometimes the mask would slip, righteous anger would flood at them, like a brilliant blue tide. Clenched trembling fists and cool glances, wry smiles that were always almost self-mocking. They had betrayed him. He couldn't forgive them completely for not beleiveing in his one promise when they believed in all others. He wanted them to have faith in him.

But on good days, Naruto will let Hinata linger, on good days Naruto will whack Sai over the head at a nostalgic penus joke, on good days Naruto will go to Ichiraku ramen with Kakashi, Yamato and Sai and pretend that two people aren't missing. Naruto will give a thumbs up and grin, a wavering bright grin that falters in its effort to assure others.

Ino will pretend that Naruto is strong. That he does not miss his team to the point where he scorns everyone else, that his solitary hehavior is not self imposed. She will pretend that this is Naruto's way of growing up and she'll try really hard to forget that Naruto never changes his way of the ninja. She will try hard not to falter under his steady eyes that speak of smoldering defiance and desperate determination, she will try to tell herself all is fine and that she is not sorry for having nothing to assure the boy.

Ino will try hard not to yell at Hinata and shake the life into those sad lavender eyes, she will try very hard to keep quiet and keep to herself.

But Ino finds hardest of all those nights, where the house down the street with its forlorn white curtains, the house where the Haruno's greive quiet grief, the curtains whisper to her that Sakura is not in her noom and Forehead hasn't been in her room since she left so long ago, reminds her these painful truths. Those nights Ino clutches the key to Sakura's door in a white knuckled grip, lies tense against Chouji's sleeping form and cannot ignore the chakra signature that always opens Sakura's window and slips inside. Ino tries not to think about Naruto's closed eyes as steps into Sakura's room, and sits on the floor, breathing in the past Sakura left behind. Because those nights are desperate and sad, so lonely, poor lonely Naruto, Ino thinks, solitary Naruto wallowing in the silence and darkness of an old love's old room, hardly touching anything, quiet agony and bitter-sweet regret welling in his lungs when he swallows in her absence like an asphyxiated body.

He goes there atleast every other night. Dying quietly.

When they meet for mission breifings, or pass eachother in the street. Ino pretends that Naruto's twisted team is not killing him slowly, pretends she does not miss Sakura as much as he does and Ino waves and makes a jab at his jounin vest. Naruto will laugh, rub the back of his head sheepishly, grin painful against his cheeks and pretend that they both don't know he is in Sakura's room and pretend that he is unshakeable, undoubtful of the future.

There's alot of pretending going on. And Ino is sick of it. One day Naruto will crack.

One day, so will she.

* * *

"He makes the other shinobi nervous," For once the Copy-nin was not thumbing through an infamous orange paper-back, but was slouched in the darkness cast by the door of the Hokage's office as it swung shut, his arms folded loosely over eachother, nothing dull about his lone grey eye. "They think he's on the verge of a breakdown."

The Hokage leaned onto the table with an agitated sigh, scowling at her sake cup before speaking with slow distaste. "Is he?"

"If you send him on this mission." Kakashi reasoned with one of his deceptively cheery tones. "Yes, it's all too possible."

"What do you want me to do, Hatake?" Tsunade snapped suddenly, warm eyes sharp in that aging visage of hers. "_stop_ him? We both know that's impossible. I promised him this mission, Naruto won't be held back if I take that away from him."

Kakashi's eyes became far too blank, the lines of his mask blurred and indiscernible. His tone was low and warning. "Sending him to Sakura, is asking to rip both their hearts out. My students are already twisted enough inside as it is, nothing good can come of a meeting between Sakura and Naruto. You're forcing things."

"Exactly. This is the wake up call they both need. I'm tired of Team Seven being the epitome of tragedy, it reflects badly on Konoha." Elbows heavy on the table, Tsunade's fingers joined under her chin, smiling wryly, damningly. "Besides, this is a chance to get their act together. Naruto needs to learn that Sakura-_chan_ is growing up, he needs to know she can take care of herself." She gave a chuckle. "Admit it, Kakashi, you're curious as to how my apprentice is doing."

He shrugged, drawling wearily."I've heard rumours."

"She's as good as Sannin."

"You sound pleased. We've been getting wind that she isn't in the slug's care anymore." Kakashi inspected the ceiling. "Hasn't been for a year. Naruto isn't going to be happy knowing she spent time outside the realm during the war."

"Pftsh," Tsunade blew an irritated exhale from her lips. "Naruto's a big boy now, he can handle it."

"Right."

"_Ofcourse_ it wont end well, you idiot, you think I don't _know_ that? I want this meeting to open up their eyes; it won't be the last time for him to see her. I'm hoping they _do_ hurt from this. Then maybe they'll learn something."

Kakashi sighed, sounding much put upon. "You have a strange way of looking out for them, Hokage-sama."

"Well, I hope it works." she returned, then smiled. "If it doesn't, well. You're coming back, as soon as you do, _you_ get to wear the stupid hat."

"I thought you would give the position to Naruto." the Copy-nin tugged at his headband. "Is it the age factor? Still think he's too young?"

Tsunade's lips tightened into a small pale nine and she drummed her nails on the table, anxious. "Yeah, I offered. Just out of courtesy. He refused, though, said he wouldn't be Hokage till he got them back. He wants to _earn_ the damn position, Brat. Stupid brat and his hero-complex." here she looked apologeticaly at Hatake Kakashi. "Anyway, you were a great Stand-in Hokage while I was out of it. I think you'd make a good oficial Hokage. Might teach you some discipline, and perhaps, how to be punctual."

"Fat-chance of that." said Kakashi with a bitterness that was surprising. "Being late is all I'm good for, Hokage-sama."

"We'll see."

Kakashi brought his gaze from the ceiling, met the eyes of his Kage and said seriously. "Where will you go after this?"

She smiled, wide and wry, a fond sadness to it. "I'm itching for another long trip. Maybe, I'll dissapear again, I miss the old roads."

"You're dying." grey eye widening, the Copy-nin whisper sounded shaken.

"Ah, don't be so direct." she wagged a finger at him, eyes sad. "But I can't die here, I don't want people precious to me to be around when I die. I want to go, slow and peaceful. On my own terms, can you respect that? One last request from an old friend?"

Kakashi's shoulders drooped and he bowed his sleet-grey head, helpless to refuse her, helpless to being the last old relic of a dying past, helpless to deny what was asked of him, because it wasn't a reasonable request, but it was a request for mercy. He couldn't refuse her, so he nodded;

"Alright, Hokage-sama."

* * *

Kakashi aceded. He went after Sakura once Naruto was ready. It was a good thing Naruto chose Neiji, because the Branch-house Hyuuga had shoved his foot through Kakashi's door and demanded to be taken. It wasn't too difficult to understand the boy's determination to go, the cold silent fury in his pale-white eyes told Kakashi all he needed to know. It wasn't impossible to discern that Neiji loved his cousin, with his stern demeanor, his standoffish toleration of Naruto after the war all but screamed he was in love with her. Neiji would never admit it though, he was too protective and too considerate of Hinata's feelings towards the blonde.

Kakashi could pity him.

Neiji was going, he was there to make sure that Naruto wouldn't do something foolish. Because he knew Naruto would never love Hinata, and it pissed him off as hell to think that Naruto was attached to Sakura, if he behaved in any way that was inapporpriate when Naruto would see his teammate then Neiji would be there to know and make sure Naruto wasn't playing around with Hinata's feelings. He had every right to be there, for Hinata. Hinata was his top priority.

Kakashi could have pitied him.

But the mission went to hell in a basket. The shit hit the fan. Naruto and Sakura, subject to Neiji's Byakugan, standing breaths apart in a smoky tavern was the most disastrous thing to happen. Neiji hasn't quite forgiven Naruto.

And Naruto?

He's splintered completely, and no one, not Kakashi, not Hinata, not Shikamru. No one can fix him this time.

_Get up, Naruto._

Get up.

Get...

Up...

There is no feeling more painful than failure, Kakashi knows.

He just hopes Naruto survives this one.

* * *

_Hang in there, kid._

* * *

**AN: Just wanted a little bit of some Konoha prespective, things look bleak right now, but hell, this story just won't get up and be done already! Argh, still a lot more left when I had originaly intended this monster of a fic to be a two-shot, ha!**

**keep the faith, NaruSaku fans, oh, and ****the Uchiha will be making an experience. I'm trying to wrap up a bitter-sweet ending, filled with regret and fluffy angst, and we all KNOW there can be no true angst unless the damn Uchiha's and Hyuuga's are involved. Those freakin eye users are the queens of melodrama. I love Team Seven! Kishi is breaking my heart!**

**Uh, yeah, that just came outa no where. Reveiw?**

**Naruto, my poor poor Naruto. I'm so worried about you, I need to see you in this next manga chapter so all the Naruto-fans know you're alright.**


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Yeah, I should really be studying right now for my finals, but damnit, I haven't updated in forever and this chapter has been a damn tangled mess glaring at me on my desktop, urging me to just wrap up and post it before my muse goes crazy.

I really apreciate those people who've reveiwed, it's been really nice of you to take some time to reply and it's awesome. But if I haven't been replying to your reveiws, please understand that I haven't had the time lately to voice to each of you personally how awesome you are, but I'm really trying, so bear with me until summer comes along, ok? I'll be free at that time, and right now I need to study if I even want to think about getting myself some university education.

That's it folks, blame the long AN for the stress levels. And I am far from done with this fic, I'll be back to it within a month or sooner, depends - But no later than that, mind you! I'm definately coming back. This update is just for you guys, ok? Because I was beginning to think people might be forgetting about this fic and assuming I'd abandoned it, no way - this story is my baby, it's not over yet! And I've decided to stop claiming this as a four/one/two-shot all the time, it's become too long for that anymore. I geuss I'll be making (direct quite) "more chappy" for you guys, since I do have a definate direction with where everything is going, and I'm sticking to it.

Yay me.

* * *

_Title:So Long And Goodnight  
Author: TwistedInABottle  
Genre:Angst, Drama, Romance...  
Characters: NaruSaku, Team Seven  
Rating: M  
Summary: Sakura leaves because she doesn't know who'll be her biggest regret if she stays._

* * *

There's alot of glaring, Tsunade does most of it. Palms hard on the table, bearing down on them with righteous anger at their mission report. Naruto doesn't say anything, Kakashi feels awkward giving the mission breifing, he feels like he'd be giving an account of some torrid love-affair, it's contents are painful and uncomfortable and it's quite hard looking the Godaime in the eyes so he chooses to fasten his focus on the ceiling.

The air feels cold and heavy, everything seems to go painfuly slow.

"On the third night, she moved towards the gambling table." He says rigidly, getting closer to the part where he disliked the most. "And gambled, lost a bit, she looked nervous. That's when we realised she'd been playing us all along, letting us tag around like she hadn't noticed a thing."

Tsunade may have smiled, it was hard to say. "She is my apprentice, ofcourse, she'd ntoice."

Yeah...Kakashi rubbed the back of his head feeling incredibly sheepish, Sakura had gone to the hotsprings an awful lot for all that knowing she were was being followed. It was disconcerting knowing she had been doing the Kunoichi thing to do, hard to imagine that Sakura was no longer a gennin girl, but a wily female of cunning proportions and Kakashi was vaguely certain all those hot spring visits were to rile Naruto up. And rile they did. The Fourth's son had watched his two fellow jounins closely and threatened to smash their faces in should they think about peeking. Neiji didn't peek (not that a Hyuuga ever would, superiority-complex and all.) and Kakashi had been too taken aback by the daring _nerve_ of his students to even bother remarking that peeking just wasn't his _style._

He has rarely seen the Fifth looking so severe, and Naruto has his eyes on the wall, focused and blue and empty... There's a muted sort of centralised anger coming off him in waves that Tsunade's smoldering ire can't quite compare to.

Neiji's jaw tightens, Kakashi_ swears_ the Hyuuga is grinding his teeth together.

"She gambled," Kakashi mutters. He hadn't been happy, on all counts, innocent Sakura? _gambling?_ In a tavern? With all that low-life...He hadn't liked it, neither did Naruto, Sakura gambling had happened to be the last straw. "Naruto aproached, alone. They talked."

Tsunade gritts impatiently. _"And?"_

The Hyuuga's glare intensifies ten-fold, Kakashi shifts on his feet, sighs. "They...argued and then she left."

"Time displacement jutsu."

"Yeah..."

No one says anything for a while. Tsunade's thoughtful frown shifts from Kakashi to his student, she looks at Naruto for a long time before her eyes narrow into feirce honey-gold slits.

"What's this about about a bar being damaged, was there a fight?" eyes glint, skeptical and wary of possible bad news and Kakashi suddenly feels exhausted. How the hell would he _explain_ this anway? He certainly couldn't lie to the Godaime, it was against protocol -

"Uzumaki lost it." Neiji supplies, there might have been a vicious satisfaction in those words, his voice was too calm and neutral to have felt _anything_ but.

He felt a shift to the right, felt rather than saw Naruto's awareness flicker to life, his head rise slightly..."I'm sorry." His words come thick, throat clogged with something that might have been shame, or weariness, or both. His lips twitch into a surface smile, flimsy and weak. "I didn't do it right. I really messed up, baa-chan."

Tsunade's scowl wavers, then hardens just as suddenly, she can't give Naruto the slip this time, if she isn't straight on him then he'll never understand, she has to be harsh this time so he can get it. But damn, he sounds so defeated, or on the verge of it, lost...he tries to subtly cover his shaking hands when he folds them over his chest and shakes his head self depreciatingly. Tsunade knows...he could explode, he could shatter, he could break them all and himself. He says nothing more.

"Your team was the last I was supposed to send out, my last as Hokage. The last mission report, the last one to stamp before all of this was over." her voice is quiet and tight with simmering rage, nails digging into the pale wood of the Hokage desk, they will leave jagged imprints and etches that Shizune may have to sand paper out later. "I wanted this to be somewhat succesful,but I see it's changed nothing for you - you still insist on treating my apprentice like a child."

He doesn't even have the grace to deny it, there's no incredulous protests, just dull numb acceptance in Naruto's quiet stance.

"Kakashi, from henceforth, there will be no more retreival missions. When you take your post as Hokage tomorrow, I expect you to call off any ANBU forays to retrieve Sakura."

"Hokage-sama, the elders are for the retreival, I don't think they would support withdrawal - "

"Sakura may be a leaf-nin but she is not a tool for them to use and manage. She's smart enought not to deviate from the village, and even if she did they would have no say in the matter. You heard me right, Kakashi, I've given her legal permission to do as she likes and none of you...not even you, brat, have a right to change that. The elders fears are ufounded." She tells them in quiet tones, anger reigned in tightly as a folded whip, ready to sear the skin off them in a blink, her eyes are the honey gold of a leopard. "That's my order I'm calling the ANBU off, and you _keep_ them off Kakashi, when you're due to take the hat tomorrow. I still have a few more things to see to tonight."

"I understand."

"You are relieved from active duty for the next two weeks, Goodnight."

He nods, takes his leave, Hyuuga leading the way.

"Not you, Brat. You're staying with me"

Naruto listens hands in his pockets, left here in the quiet, him and Tsunade. Just him and Tsunade. And the Naruto she knew never slouched, he never looked this grim...even if he felt it, he hid it and covered it up so well. She sighs. Maybe she hasn't been the best of Gaurdians, she should have dealt with Naruto better during the war, tried to sympathise better with what he was going through - she hadn't at the time because Naruto _hated_ sympathy, he didn't wants sympathy, he wanted faith. He wanted people to beleive in him, he wanted her to beleive in him, that's why having his team here was so important. He needs Sakura to believe in him too, and she does, maybe not the way Naruto understands, but...Tsunade knows Sakura believes.

And Naruto beleives he can do things, and it's true, because Naruto really can change people, it's what will make him Hokage. You're such an idiot brat, just because they aren't here doesn't mean they don't believe in you...they want you to bring them back. And if you want Sakura to believe in you, then you should believe in her too. You never really did, she's not a child. Don't you realise that willing to take her faith in you and offering none in return is just all _take_ and no _give?_

Tsunade has a job to do, the last thing she needs to do before she leaves forever, and that's educating Naruto so he can stop looking so damn lost, Kakashi was scared of Naruto loosing resolve, Tsunade could tell by the strained manner in which gave the mission briefing...and she was cared too. Damn brat, I don't beleive you'll ever loose resolve, I can tell you still haven't given up, it's still there inside of you, burning away, the will of fire, don't you remember? you're going to be Hokage someday

So Tsunade props her fists on her hips, looming up as tall and huge as the Sannin legend she is, she is something faintly like a volcano at this moment when she lowers her chin, eyes sharp and snaps.

"Now, talk."

* * *

"You're late."

A plate shatters, procelain breaking into peices that whir across the floor and loose themselves in the carpet, under the chair, the corners of the room...Hinata's frame, huddled in on herself, face sheet-white at the kitchen counter makes Neiji's temper vanish. She's so small and he's so worried, so angry. He wants to smash Naruto's head open, beat him out of his senses because of how small Hinata looks right now.

"Today's shift at the hospital ended three hours ago." he says quietly. "And you weren't at Uzumaki's house, so you should have been here earlier."

She doesn't look up at him, she's been shaking for the past haf an hour, something has shocked her and changed her to the point that she forgot to use the Byakugan before she entered the house. He wanted to tell her that it was stupid not to have checked the premises beforehand, he wanted to admonish her about assassin's and kidnappings and how she should know better given her history than to ignore her surroundings. And the plate...ninjas do not _drop_ things, they do not do petty civillian things like jump at noises, or daydream, or trip, or loose composure so fully as to drop things and shatter them into thousands and thousands of peices. Who _was_ she? Kunoichi? Did she call herself kunoichi, nevertheless, Hyuuga? Neiji's been watching hersince she entered the house, from the shadows. Always watching her, always always in the shadows, since they were four, watching her sharply since they were twelve, bitterly, then at fifteen, watching ruthlessly, because he would not dare let anyone touch her. He had promised his father, his duty, to protect her. He _promised._

And Hinata was shaking, so badly. He should come forward, touch her shoulder, ask after her softly. He should.

But this is something Hinata must learn herself, Hinata has to learn to give-up, especialy when it comes to something like Naruto.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs, ducks her head, a teardrop colours the floor and she gives a nervous laugh. "I had some papers to drop this week, and I-I thought hey, what if I dropped them off earlier tonight...s-so I can have the weekend free, right? I thought...I thought the Hokage wouldn't mind, I like being early, and Shi-Shizune-san wasn't there to meet me outside, so I thought I could give them to Tsunade-sama personaly because this was her last night as Hokage, I...I wanted to say something to her, to thank her for taking care of us." there's that laugh again, so hollow and broken. "I didn't know you had gotten back, I-I saw you and Kakashi sensei leave and I realised that...that Naruto-kun was still inside and I was worried, I-I thought somethingwas wrong! I thought something happened...I wanted to know it everything was alright...Naruto st-stayed with Tsunade, to talk...Byakugan, I wish I never...I wish I hadn't..."

Neiji breathes sharply through his nose. "How much did you hear?"

Hot gasping tears, shoulders trembling, All those peices...they'll cut him, procelain everywhere everywhere. They'll cut him. Hinata-sama, he was supposed to take care of her - he couldn't do anything. Why was he so helpless, when it came to her? He promised. He promised promised promised. She raised her head, tears still running down her cheeks, smile miserable, eyes soft, painful and said;

"Everything."

* * *

I'm sorry, Hinata-chan. I can't...I can't give you what you want.

What about what _you_ want, Naruto?

I'm sorry.

I can't give you what you want, but I geuss neither will she?

....I know.

You won't even let her.

...

But I promised I'd try, Naruto-kun. It doesn't matter anymore, I never...I never expected anything from you, that wouldn't have been fair. No, with you I...I only... hoped.

I know.

But It's Ok! because Neiji-nee-san said so! he said that the mission was -

It's not Ok.

...But it will be, right?

A smile, bright and gold enought to erase the sky. He was here, he was alright, he was -

"Yeah, It will."

* * *

AN: This was shorter than what I usualy write, but yeah...until next time, see you on the flip side!

Oh, FYI ; feedback is apreciated as it makes reviewers - thus, by default - awesome.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Short. Don't hate me for the low word-count, you'll get it later. I haven't given up on this.

* * *

Then there was word of her, more than before.

The ANBU had been pulled back, but the intelligence network Shikamaru maintained kept Kakashi informed – it was suspicious, really, how their informants suddenly caught sight of her…almost like Sakura _wanted_ to be seen and have them noted of her whereabouts.

"It doesn't add up." The Nara told him, arms deep in his pockets, looking disgruntled with the trails the kunoichi was leaving behind and yet as perturbed as ever by them. "It's ridiculous, all these years she's been sticking to the old-routes so we could never get a glimpse of her…and now, suddenly she's traipsing about in broad daylight? Why?"

Kakashi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Autumn was deep into Konoha, browning leaves billowing outside the window as the trees died – it'd barely been three months since he attained his post as Hokage and already it was starting to be a pain in the ass. The Council never shut up and Nara's news were only going to add to a new list of complications, no wonder Tsunade-sama had been such an alcoholic – hell, dealing with these people on a daily bases made him want to get wasted too.

"Where has she been seen?"

The older woman slid Shikamaru's papers across the table to her new master, her brows drawn down in consernation. "In a couple of villages eastwards, civilian villages mainly."

"That's near Fire country!" The copy-nin blinked after examining the trail dotted out in red on the maps handed to him, surprised. Was his student returning home? What prompted that move _now?_Last time he'd checked she'd been adverse to ever stepping foot in Konoha ever again - if it was true, well, maybe the Council would shut-up now…

The Nara's eyes darkened, he frowned exchanging a glance with his assistant managing to look both irritated and dead serious as Shizune worried her lip. "Not quite, Hokage-sama."

The white-haired man leaned back in his chair, arms folding, and observing the both of them. "Oh?"

Shikamaru opened his mouth, then thought better of it, hissing in annoyance he turned away his head – choosing to remain silent. Kakashi raised a brow, turned an eye to the other kunoichi and waited expectantly, curious and non too patient about it.

Shizune swept a look at the window and sighed;

"Haruno Sakura, it appears, is heading for Wind."

* * *

This information could not be kept secret for long, and sooner or later more than just Shikamaru's informants would be aware of it. The Council had there own ways of collectinginformation, there was already a high chance they had access to alleged government informatioon,or atleast a way to get around the rules and learn things from their own private spies, spies not restricted to Konoha's own military forces but to several other countries as well...Sooner or later Kakashi would have to try explain his students bewildering actions - he didn't know exactly what to make of them either, himself. Was almost terrified of attempting to for what her moves could suggest...

He'd promised to keep the ANBU off Sakura for as long as he could, considered Tsunade-hime's words seriously...but as soon as they could find out about Sakura's new travel-routes, their suspicions would flare and even Kakashi would not be able to hold them back then.

And then there was the thing of Naruto having inherited Jiraiya's old spy network, that definitely did not bode well. At all.

* * *

_What is the meaning of this?_

_I can explain -_

_Wind? She's defecting!_

_That's not confirmed yet -_

_Hokage, there are some things you can only hide for so long. For you to have even thought of keeping this from us...well, it's unacceptable._

_I know my student, she would never abandon Leaf, such suggestions,assumptions of that are what is unacceptable._

_You must understand, the Sabaku family would accept her should she enter their village due to having once saved the Kazekage's brother - Suna could only benefit from acquiring her services in exchange for her citizenship, Haruno would receive no resistance there - this is defection! We might not have had her assistance now, but should we ever need it in future...well, we are not about to loose them to another country, never!_

_I trust Sakura._

_We do not intend to call your student a traitor -_

_I am full aware of what you meant._

_Hokage-sama, why else would she be travelling there? Why?_

_Leave._

_Hokage-sama -_

_Leave, now. This meeting is adjourned, we will commence on a later date when we have all the information. Only when we receive indisputable confirmation of Sakura's whereabouts from the Kazekage himself will action be taken -_

_She must be returned at once!_

_Are you suggesting you believe ANBU capable enough to take down a Sannin?_

_...but she must see reason._

_Leave, _I_ will decide what must be done. Understood?_

_..._

_Very well._

* * *

The next day Shikamaru's birds sent him pictures; Haruno Sakura travel worn and weary, walking alongside Sabaku no Kankuro in Suna's capital -

she was not wearing her Leaf head-band.

* * *

AN: I hope you guys get what's going on..I'm not very good at writing political intrigue. Very short, I'm still trying to get back into rhythm with this fic after so long, so bear with then, reviews are also loved. Thanks for your time!


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Short and to the point. Things are going to get crazy

* * *

They were arguing, again. Naruto laid his head back against the wall with a _thunk_ and sighed, The Council always thought they could weasel Kakashi into anything if they whined long enough and now was not much different save for the fact that this time his sensei was pissed. And that wasn't pretty. The Copy-nin's anger made itself known in the cold impersonal sharpness of his eyes and the hardness, the quiet quiet of his voice that brooked no opposition, the voice normally reserved for enemy-nin met on the battle field...

Naruto wasn't stupid, he knew exactly what was going on when the two elders chose that moment to storm out of the Hokage's office, past where he was standing next to the doors, wrinkles twisted in affront. He knew exactly what was happening in Suna, spies or no, Gaara was his friend and the Kazekage let him know these things.

Only when the two Council member's footsteps had faded down the stairs and the lobby was completely deserted did his sensei emerge, sleet gray hair in disheveled spikes and hitaete suitably skewed, hands in his pockets and the doors of his office clicking shut behind him.

"Yo."

The younger man gave a slight nod, not a flicker of an expression passing his face, but his blue eyes were fixed infront of him, focused.

"So you know." he breached. Shizune had dissapeared somewhere, it was just the two of them now, him and his student.

The corner of his mouth twitched, not daring yet into a full out grin. Confirmation enough.

"And you're not bothered?" Kakashi ventured, too tired to be surprised. "Really?"

"Nah."

Kakashi didn't know what exactly to make of that. Was it that Naruto had too much faith and found the rumours stupid, or was he now disillusioned? Or did he, like Kakashi, think there was something much deeper behind these recent events? "I didn't summon you, so I suppose you wanted something from me."

"Yeah." There was a pause before Naruto went on more softly. "I'll be going to Suna as part of the emissiary."

Kakashi was expecting this. "You know I can't allow that."

"...This is something I have to do." The jinchuuriki uttered, gaze flickering to his right to meet Kakashi's eyes in a serious stare. "I'm not going to force it, I'm not going to drag anyone back. Tsunade's taught me that atleast, I know... I know what I've been doing wrong."

The boy sounded so solemn again, and somber serious Naruto was always something to give everyone pause. Kakash didn't trust himself to give in, this was a political situation, fragile, giving Naruto permission to join the negotiations would be pulling out the wildcard...emotions weren't allowed to interfere, he was Hokage now and he had to consider the ramifications of the boy causing a scene, and though relations with Suna were stronger than ever it still served to remain on ones toes especialy dealing with the Council's sheer century old distrust of the Wind region. Kakashi still needed to be wise about this.

"Think about it." The blonde straightened up and dug his hands deep into his jounin vest pockets, taking off towards the door in that slow steady walk of his. Telling Kakashi to think about it was strange, different than usual. Normaly the boy would charge off to do what he thought needed to be done irrespective of any body else's opinion or consent.

"Naruto."

He stopped, did not turn around.

"There's a lot of things this might seem to be and there's a lot of things it blatantly is - whether it was indeed defection or she's baiting us - "

"It doesn't matter."

Naruto lowered his head, gold hair shining at his nape, shoulders stiff and resolute as ever...he is more than ever like Namikaze Minato in that moment, with the world saddled on his back and very aware of the responsibility, the implications.

"I know her." He says simply. "I hurt her."

Kakashi opens his mouth, pauses, hesitates, says nothing.

"This is something I have to do"

_Trust me. Please._ Something he feels no one has truly done in a long time. _Believe_ in me.

"Alright." Kakashi's words cross the chasm between them, and Naruto seems very still, like he's waiting for whatever might come next with the resiliance of one awaiting battle, waiting for it to try sweep him away. "I'll think about it."

A nod, Naruto leaves.

* * *

Hinata comes, meets him later, a basket in on one arm and medical forms under the other. "Naruto-kun!"

Her eyes are lavender and her dark hair almost seems blue when the light hits it. He smiles, lets her catch-up to him, apologises. "I'm sorry I didn't come."

"I-It's alright." She nods, lets him take the basket from her so she can move more freely. "Neiji-san said you w-were busy with Shikamaru and I..."

They stop by a shop, he gegins observing wide array of kunai in the window display, totting up figures and numbers.

"Is it a mission, Naruto-kun?"

"Yeah." He never gave much away these days, did he? "I just needed a new set for my weapons pouch, all my other stuff is rusting."

"Oh." She frowns, twiddles her thumbs in that excrutiatingly endearing way of hers. She's going back into her shell, it pains him. "Oh, well, I-I brought us lunch."

"Hinata-chan." A grimace. "You know that I can't..."

"Shino and Kiba will be there too!" She adds quickly, cheeks aflame and trying not to look so broken by the words his unfinished sentence has left hanging. "And Akamaru too." So please _please_ come, Naruto-kun, I'm not...you know I'm...I'm trying to make this as easy possible, so please, _just - !_

"Hinata-chan."

She stops breathing, because Naruto will _always_ be able to do that to her even when he doesn't mean anything by it, _never_ means anything by it. "Y-Yes?"

"I'm going to Suna, tomorrow. You know about these things, don't you?" He lifts a hand, touches the glass infront of them softly, funny though, he doesn't even seem to be looking at the display anymore. "My teammate is there."

"Is there...something wrong?" She wants him to trust her. If he wouldn't even see her in _that light..._her cheeks burned... then he could atleast trust her, talk to her, say _something._

"No."

"Naruto-kun, if...if you want to talk about it -"

"She's been in Suna for three months, I knew she was there the minute she stepped into Wind. Kakashi received the information but that was after me, so maybe Jiraiya's people aren't completely good for nothing." He had cut her off, smooth and sure confidence - a man with a strategy. "I've had a lot of time to prepare and so has she. I know what she wants."

The Hyuuga could barely string together a sentence, staggered as she was. "She...wants...what?"

And Naruto turns her a look, eyes bright azure, his mouth splitting into a big fox grin, almost...almost _happy._

"...What does she want, Naruto-kun?"

He stands like he's twelve again, like he's _gonna be Hokage some day!_, like he's Naruto forever and for always, smiling beautiful and golden, and uttering one word alone;

"Acknowledgement."

* * *

AN: Short, I know. I was busy doing...stuff. 'Nyways, the real NaruSaku wheels turn in the next chapter, it's going to be EPIC, I swear.

If you have anything to say about what I write, good or bad, then say it, I'm all ears!

And for those who like this fic, I'm begging you to check out my KonohamarxSakura in progress _'Saving Ophelia'_ if purely for facination-with-crack-pairings-and-good-writing-technique purposes, that story seriously needs all the love it can get! Oh, and my _'The Sweetest Girl'_ story is there too, and it's an AU that features NaruSaku strongly in a modern setting - go check them out, you never know, you might actualy like them better than _'So Long and Goodnight'._

Otherwise, the manga is finaly getting somewhere again, so I'm glad.

Thanks for reading, and all the reviews, they've really served to cheer me up whenever I feel like too much of a looser. Even those people who don't review still contribute to this story's hit rate, it's not as nice as actual reviewing, but nonetheless, it still helps my morale to see the hit rate rise by a hundred almost every day. So, all of you... you're AWESOME!

I hope I haven't turned Naruto into some emo guy... so he's not _too_ depressing. I'm trying to bring this thing full circle, so stick with me people, it's just beginning to get good!


End file.
